Up Date / forgiveness

Been so busy with lots of work, training courses and personal 'stuff ', so not had time to write. Hopefully I can write a blog post very soon. Just been reminded about how ' forgiveness of self ' is a big part of 'love of self ' . I was starting to beat myself up for not having time or strong enough desire to write a blog post, so it was a blessing to be reminded of ' self forgiveness'. There is no rush ... patience my brothers and sisters. Patience is huge in the subject of ' love of self '. I find I have a huge list in my mind of all the things 'I could be', 'could of done','could of been', 'should of done', 'things I did and shouldn't have done' ... All these cudda wudda shudda ways of being are very damaging in the process of 'love of self' ... So I am relieved to be reminded of ...... SELF FORGIVENESS.

and if you feel that something has happened to you which feels un just. It probably is un just...

and If you ever want to blame yourself ... remember, its not your fault.

With Love and Joy ... Perry

Passion, Desires and Prayer

Prayer ...

I sometimes feel that in this modern world the word 'Prayer' freaks people out. The Truth is ... It freaks me out when I mention to people that 'I' myself pray, and thus, I don't tell many people. I also have some fear about my NEW way of being, because I get this timid feeling that my OLD friends and family will reject the new me. Will they think I'm crazy if I start using words like 'Prayer', 'Faith', 'Love', 'Soul', 'Divine Love', 'Soul mate', 'God', 'Fear', 'Law Of Attraction', 'Cause and Effect', 'Addictions', 'Humbleness' 'Forgive' and 'Truth' ... I feel that the world judges me as being 'WEAK' if I choose to communicate using these words. Just see what happens to peoples reactions when they see a 'loving' man striding down the street with a bouquet of flowers for his other half, the women coo at him in sweetness, and with a feeling of softness raise a hand to their hearts, and the men boo him with bravado and clasp their hand in a way to show how he is pathetically 'under the thumb'. The words I just outlaid may sound 'biblical', and although this is not directly true, it is enough to turn people off straight away these days. I would conceive that the majority of humans do not know or fully understand the true meaning of such language. I believe those words to be the most powerful feelings and attributes one can cultivate within themselves.

SO ... Prayer ? ... Who actually prays apart from priests and nuns right ? Prayer is a huge subject, and I is a seemingly taboo topic of great discussion and debate. Does prayer really work ? Who are we praying to ? Can I really get what I want or change my life by saying a pray ? ... What if I prayed for financial abundance and I didn't receive , would that prove that prayer doesn't work ?! ... hmmm, but that's not how prayer works.

Prayer is EMOTIONAL ... meaning, its not the words we say ... but the feeling we project out that is the real message. So, some may pray with something like "God, please send me more money". This type of prayer does not work because its not emotional. Asking this kind of prayer does not address the Emotion inside of us which is blocking the ability to receive more money ... the prayer that will work and is more true to our emotion is "God, please help me to understand what emotion in me is blocking me from receiving money" ... it wont be long before your law of attraction conspires a situation which highlights the emotional blockage of why money is not coming your way. I for example, learned that I had a lot of anger towards the banking system and authority in general. Do you think that if I have an emotion of anger within me about banks and systems that I will attract more money ? ... of course not, like anything else, money is attracted by love ... lesson being, I needed to learn to love the system, even if the system itself was not loving towards me.

Mainly in today's blog, I want to share that prayer is actually really cool, up beat and alive. It does not have to be the 'old fashioned' way of kneeling besides our bed before sleep repeating words that have emotional connection to us. Like I said 'prayer' is emotional, and so, are we not as humans always emotional ? that means we are constantly sending out prayers whether we know it or not, for our emotions are always at play.

Whilst I am writing this blog, I am actually in prayer. When we follow our passions we are connected in prayer ... and that's the beauty of following our passions and desires, its like a direct link to God, emotions powerfully flow. So try not to think of prayer as this stuffy old technique which only church goers use, but see it as a way to be creative and explore its possibilities. As I said the subject of prayer is so grand that I'm not gonna write any more on the matter right now, but please feel free to comment or ask questions and will gladly reply.

This clip from the movie 'Once' shows one man deep in prayer as he sings his heart out ... totally inspiring ... if I could sing and play guitar, I would pray like this man. Now come to think of it, why have I never prayed about whats blocking me to be able to sing and play guitar, right I'd better get to it xxx enjoy the clip

Desires and Truth

Truth is ... I really hope that one day I will be able to tell the Truth to any person, at anytime, in any situation no matter the outcome. I know that I do not tell the Truth right now 100% of the time. I'm not saying that I tell big whoppers, it's just sometimes I may not express how I am honestly feeling in every single moment. If I want this kind of Truth in my life, I will need to pray to God about the reason why I do not have the desire to tell truth all of the time. My mind maybe saying that I want to, but my soul is clearly not expressing it. If I did have that desire, then I would already be doing it, for DESIRE... ALWAYS CREATES!!! That means, If I desire something in my life and I do not have it ... It means, at this moment, I do not truly desire it, and there must be a soul based issue for that reason, and that issue normally stems from fear. Do I desire a laptop ...YES because I am writing from one now. Do I desire to live in England ? Yes because this is where I am as I write this. Do I desire a girlfriend ? YES because I have a girlfriend... Do I desire to speak Spanish ? YES because I can speak Spanish. Do I desire to grow my own food ? YES because I grow my own food. With the next set of questions I know in my mind that I would answer YES, but my soul is showing me something different... Do I desire a car ? (my mind says yes) My Soul says, No because I do not have a car. Do I desire a million pounds ? No because I do not have a million pounds. Do I desire to own my own house ? No because I do not own my own house. Do I desire to tell the Truth ALL of the time ... NO, because I know of times when I with hold the truth due to fear, but what could that fear be ? Well, just try telling the Whole Truth in every situation and you will soon see what happens... not everyone is so pleased about it.

This feedback system is totally amazing ... If I say that I am desiring something in my life and I do not have it, then I have to understand why I do not have it. A true desire from the soul always creates, and this is why I hope to have the desire for Truth in all situations of my life ... and WHY? because... Brothers and Sisters, telling the Truth is one of the most loving and healing things you can ever do ... and the truth shall always set us free ...

p.s. When ever I talk about Truth, please remember that these feelings are my feelings in this moment. My soul in this moment has many 'errors'. Errors are not loved based, meaning that my soul will still deliver messages from an injured state, and the messages may not be as Truthful as God would have them be. That is my understanding to date.

Passions Desires And Emotional Blocks

So ... there you are ... you have found a new passion, a new desire, a new love, the coolest Hobby, your dream job, or an exciting way of living, the feeling that you have been longing for suddenly starts to radiate from you, and the words "YES ... this is it !" are bouncing off the insides of your body like the shining steel balls of a pinball machine...

...and then after a while, somehow, the thing in which you totally believed in ...just ... erm ... well ... collapses.

When I was about 10 or 11 years old I remember playing with my cousin and his friend. We were trying to build a pyramid by standing on each others backs. My cousin became the base, holding his friend tightly upon his upper body. The idea was that I would then stand on his friends back to complete the circus trick, but the friend was stacked too high for me. I had the idea to climb a street lamp to gain more height, for that would give me enough clearance to jump on top. We were all a little nervous and shaky, but at the same time we were laughing with anticipation and excitement. Eventually I was high enough on the street lamp. I jumped with a big smile, with cheeks flapping in the wind and I securely landed on top... success, cheers, extreme giggles, we did it, the human pyramid was built and I was top ... and I was on top ... for about 3 seconds until the pyramid collapsed and I fell off backwards and cracked my head on the metal street lamp.

There was a split second of silence ... then screams. I cant remember how painful it was right now, but I do remember the shocked look on my cousins face when he saw my head, which told me it must be bad. There was no blood, but there was a lump the size of a golf ball and my vision was blurred. Hospital diagnosis ... slight fracture to my skull ...ouch .

BUT how did that all happen ... one second I was feeling on top of the world, I could see the clear horizons ahead where the sky meets the hills, steadying myself on the peak of the pyramid with only my laughter supporting me... and in the next moment, I'm screaming, flat faced on the concrete floor, my heads pounding, my vision is blurred, and the only horizon I see is where the road meets the pavement.

Whats the point of this story ? ... well ... that's how I am feeling right now. I'm feeling like my pyramid has just collapsed, Ive somehow lost hope, the struggle is to much, I hit the bottom ... again, I'm exhausted . I noticed my last few posts have been quite up beat and positive. I was feeling really confident about my blog posts, my writing style and ideas but these last few day's Ive started to doubt myself. I was the 'pinball wizard' pinging the electrical words flashing "Yes this is it, Yes this is it", I was hitting top scores, I had activated the multiple ball power play which encouraged me to tap quicker with my 'flippers', making them display tricks and squeal nosies like the famous dolphin which shares the same name.

So what happened ? ... who pulled the plug on my pinball machine? who told flipper that he couldn't swim ? Who told the Egyptians that they could knock off work early and stop building the pyramid of my life ? ... Then I remembered ! ... I'm learning that that is the nature of passion and desires.

Passions and desires have been my hot topic lately. I'm feeling that passions and desires are the driving force of life. Hence when I am not feeling passionate in any area of my life, I feel like I'm dying.

When we follow our passions and desires there will come a point when we will always hit a brick wall. These bricks we can call 'wounds' or 'injuries' within the soul. These wounds may come in the form of thoughts like ' I'm not good enough', 'I will never be able to do that', 'I don't have enough experience', 'I don't have the right qualifications', 'I'm not talented enough', 'I don't have enough money',' That would never happen to someone like me', 'It's because of my back ground I won't be successful', 'There are so many more people already doing that better than me', 'I'm not clever enough', 'I'm not that lucky' ... I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ... you catch my drift.

In varying degrees and depending on the subject matter, I find myself blocked by these very same bricks. In fact, this last week I have been totally 'bricked up'. Ive been having the feelings that the life I desire for myself is going to be totally impossible. Everything that I've been learning about love, God and myself, I have been feeling like 'how on Earth' is this ever going to happen ... 'I must be crazy' and that 'none of 'Truth's' that I'm learning about the Divine Love Path are True'. When I got into this process, it wasn't long before the doubt totally took over and the desire I had for my life's adventures digressed. Maybe I do need a doctor after all.
Of course I could just dust myself down, pick myself up, take myself off somewhere to relax and forget about those feelings, rest and fill up my energy tank... which is in fact what I did. I'm writing this blog post from the comfort of my brothers home. The truth is ... if I do not fully feel and release the feelings which are getting me down, those same feelings will one day come popping back up again like a ping pong ball trying to be submerged in water. I could go through my whole life 'picking myself up' from the same reoccurring doubtful feelings until I deal with the root cause. That's what inspires me so much about the Divine love path process, it heals the root cause of all wounds and injuries within the soul. I'm learning that these wounds are created from our environment as early as the time of conception, and within this process, all of the fears that our parents hold within their soul's are actually compounded and projectd into our soul.

Last week I started to feel doubt and fear in my life's desires, which then gave me the feeling that I should not write my blogs anymore. The familiar feelings daunting me all over again, although this time something has changed. Somehow this time my 'will power' was stronger than before, and in stead of giving up the desire of writing, I was actually able to use this experience to give me a subject matter to write about ... ironically, one of the blocks I was stressing about was that I couldn't think of anything interesting to write about, which made me panic, believing that my new passion and desire for writing had been squashed for ever... so I'm really pleased that I have been able to push on through ... like I wrote in a previous post, 'small steps to big change'.

Passions and Desires are just one small part of the Divine Love Path. I could write pages and pages about this one subject alone, so I am gonna leave it there for now. For more info about the Divine Love Path visit http://www.divinetruth.com/ and for the movie to accompany today's blog and the way I have been feeling watch this clip... p.s. what I am loving and learning about true passions and desires is that a person who follows their passion, does so just for the love of it. There are no expectaions, no prizes to be won, no big rewards, no status, no looking good and maybe never any thank you's in return... for it's all a gift... Thank you for reading if you took the time out to do so, I had so much trouble and joy writing this post which was a great experience for ME x Enjoy x

I'm dying ...

Just a quick post about dreams and Law of attraction. Between longer posts I like to keep things flowing with little posts, so here it is.

Since I can remember, I have always loved an afternoon snooze. Today on my lunch break I got so excited because I knew I was gonna go and catch up on some ZZzz. I laid down inside the greenhouse with the sun shining and it felt like I was laying on a beach somewhere exotic. The reason why I love an afternoon kip is because I always have really vivid dreams which often tell me a lot about what is going on in my life. So, I thought I would share my dream and how I interpreted it.

I was out at sea in a boat with my Girlfriend and youngest brother just playing about. Then somehow I fell off the boat, and started to sink. For some reason I thought that I was in a swimming pool rather than the sea, and so I thought to myself that I could just kick myself up off the bottom and swim back to the top. As I was floating down in the water, TERROR hit me, as I remembered that I was in the sea, and the bottom of the 'swimming pool' didn't exist. By this time I was very short of breath and sinking quickly. Then I remembered that I could just swim back up to the top instead of waiting to kick up from the bottom. As I tried to swim back up, I realised that I was paralysed and that I couldn't move my legs or arms. EXTREME TERROR came over me as I could hear my girlfriend and brother up above laughing and waiting for me to come back up. I struggled and struggled to release from the paralyses but It was no use. Then the classic dream waking up scene happened. I was just about to die and I woke. When I woke up, I felt that I was trying to swim and I gasped for air. I had a slight headache and felt so petrified as I thought I was just about to die. The feeling to wake up from the dream was so intense.

I started to try and decipher the images in the dream to see what it meant. Then I remembered that the images are not so important. It's the feeling of the dream that counts. Since the feelings were of complete TERROR, I went with that. I concluded that I have terror within me about dying. OF course I was terrified about dying ... well ... I desire to be in a state of living where I am not at all afraid of dying, more about that on a future post. There was also a sense of great loss, because I was unable to tell my girlfriend and brother that I loved them. Later that afternoon, I remembered that when I was about 5 years old I almost drowned in the sea in Spain, and my Mother just saved me. I somehow totally forgot about that. In my last post I mentioned about the 'Law Of Attraction'. This dream was also a Law Of Attraction event, showing me which feelings I need to release from soul. Clearly 'Terror' is an emotion I need to release from my soul as it is blocking me from Love and God on some level, because fear and love cannot exist in the same space. I will now pray about this to see how more Law Of Attractions come my way. After processing these emotions,sooner or later I will get to the causal emotion and release it, but this may take some time. It's almost bedtime for me now so I look forward to see what happens in tonights dreams.

Night night ...

Wheat Free ... Free Grass

Things have been ramping up for me over the last few weeks and its been really interesting. I'm laughing as I use the words 'Ramping up' because that's how AJ Miller describes life when it starts to get 'full on' and seemingly 'out of control'. Who is AJ Miller ? and what has been ramping up ? ... If you have been following my posts lately you would have seen a couple of youtube seminars that I have posted on my blog showing AJ Miller delivering certain subjects to people who are interested in the 'Divine Love Path'. I'm not gonna go into detail today about what the Divine Love Path is, but I am going to write about my experience in practicing one of the ways in which the Divine Love Path suggests to live ... and that is to 'work' for FREE.

All the seminars AJ Miller gives, he gives for free, although he will totally accept donations if he feels that the donation is coming from a loving space and that the donation is not a 'bribe'. After listening to many of his seminars and actually attending one of them in Greece this summer, I felt it was time to stop listening and start acting, for that's the only way to start 'living' the Divine Love Path, re my post about small steps to Big Actions.

Last weekend I was asked if I would hold a wheat grass stall at the Raw and Wild festival on a farm in my village. The festival had lots of mind, body, spirit type things going on plus lots of crafts and farming discussions e.c.t. So I agreed to have my stall there.

First I needed to grow the Wheat grass in trays to be able to juice or sell as full trays. I was told by the organiser that an estimated 40 trays of wheat grass would be needed. I first began the process by soaking the grains for 1 day in water. The grains I used were barley, rye and wheat. Next was to leave the grains to sprout for 2 days. After sprouting I sewed the grains into the 40 trays. Each tray had about a half inch of compost layered. On top of the compost I covered each tray with plenty of the mixed grains. The next step was to keep the trays in the dark for 2 days. When the 2 days were up, the trays were ready to be put into the green house to grow with the warmth and light. After 5 days growing in the green house, my trays were brimming with flowing 4 inch high grass, ready to be juiced. I could write another whole blog post about the health benefits of wheat grass, but this post is to share how after all my efforts of paying for the wheat grass with time and money... I then decided to 'give' it all away.

My stall was looking beautiful (My girlfriend Jessica help it look beautiful) and ready to rock and roll. 40 trays of wheat grass on display, 2 masticating juicers and shots glasses waiting to be filled. I must say that I had not originally thought to give the wheat grass away, it did cross my my mind, but the thought of making money was that little bit stronger. I calculated that I could probably sell one fluid Oz of juice for £2.50 and if people wanted to buy the whole tray to take away then I could sell that for £6. I started to like the figures when I added them up ... £6 x 40 trays = £240-£30 costs = £210 profit. Its not a huge amount of money, but a fun little way to top up my end of month wage I thought.

My friend Mike ( who is also learning and living the Divine Love Path) was helping me with the final touches before show time. Mike then suggested to me ' have you thought about giving it all away and just have a donations box on the table ?'. I told him that I had thought about it, but then I had also thought about what I could buy with the £210 profit. He grinned at me. Ten minutes later whilst sitting on the toilet, I thought 'Right, that's it, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna put love and freedom into action, and give everything away today.' It was a good job I was sitting on the toilet when I made that decision because now I was getting nervous and excited, and the layer of fear underneath was poking me saying 'yeah but what if ? 'and what about' ? 'you can't just give it away', ' what about all that time and money spent ?' 'what will people think ?' 'Do I not value myself ?', 'What's my motive ?' 'I could buy such an such with the profits' 'Crazy idea' 'I'm already skint' ' No wonder I never have lots of money, and now this idea will make things worse' ... you see ... that's fear for you, always blocking great ideas, love and freedom.

After getting off the toilet and settling back to my stall, Mike asked me If he could help me with anything else ... Yes, I smiled, can you make me a donations box whilst I finish setting up. We both felt the excitement build. Funny how I 'got' Mike to make the donations box, showing me I was still not truly fully comfortable with my idea, but I pushed on through with it ... small steps.

... SO what happened ? Never in my life would I have expected to happen what happened that day. The feelings I had were so liberating. I felt so powerful and passionate about what I was doing and the feeling of freedom was spreading around my stall. The reactions from people when I told them that everything was for free was really interesting and varied. My response to how different people reacted was such a valuable lesson to me. This experience was showing me were all my fears and behaviour patterns where hiding. Depending on the person, my emotional response and actions were different, sometimes in harmony with love and sometimes not.

Some people were totally accepting of receiving a free shot of wheat grass juice and it seemed normal for them to pop a few a coins into the box. Lots of people asked me "How much would you normally sell this stuff for so that I can have a guide of what to give". I gave them a guide price and then was reminded that by giving a guide price, I was essentially 'not giving it away anymore' which flagged up my fear of abundance and also at the same time I was playing into their emotions of 'them' feeling uncomfortable about having the free will. How many times do we make others feel 'comfortable' whilst making ourselves feel 'uncomfortable ?' One woman asked what can she buy with £1. We told her that she could have anything she wanted from shots of wheat grass to a whole tray because everything is free... "but I only have £1 " she nervously replied. "That's ok because its all free, you don't even need £1" Mike said... "but I only have £1" she shaked again ... "Its all for free" we smiled... this made her feel really uncomfortable. She then timidly asked for a 'small' shot of wheat grass (a shot of wheat grass is small to start with) and with a scared hand she placed her £1 in the donation box and shuffled away in a sad way. Wow, I thought ... a great lesson in seeing how someone is totally unable to accept a gift, she could have had the whole stall but she settled for a small shot. I felt a great loss of love in her life... I wondered if I am ever like that, and acknowledged on a different scale there are times when I am totally unable to receive gifts of love. One man came with confidence and ordered his shot and we had a great chat. He finished his drink and walked off with only a thank you ... 'Hey Mr,what about the donation' my feelings frowned... 'expecting' a donation is not loving or giving now is it Perry my heart then challenged me' ... humble pie was eating. To my surprise so many people came and loved the idea of the donation box. Children came with eyes wide open and we felt their delight as even they were able to have a drink without a common fear response of the parents saying "no, its too expensive and you have had enough today already". It felt really freeing for everybody, including me ... because it was for free there was none of that awkward bargaining feeling and the expectation barriers were down. It feels so amazing when somebody offers something without wanting anything in return, and this is the feeling that I am desiring to cultivate in my life... unconditional love.

I passed by the organiser who is a friend of mine and she quizzed me with her hands in the air "are you crazy, why are you giving your stuff away?, you could make good money" this shook me and knocked my confidence, I felt attacked and my desire for freedom was weakened ... huff puff, my law of attraction (I will write more about Law of attraction soon) is showing me more emotions I need to deal with. Why are people so freaked out by this idea I thought. At the end of the day, I approached her all excited and with total gratitude gave her the £15 for costs of having the stall. Once upon a time I would have hoped or tried to avoid paying by being nice. She apologised that I had to pay "It's for the farm" she said ... I felt she had an undertone of guilt in her voice because she had to charge me, and she was slightly embarrassed as she knew I'd given all my 40 trays of grass away. Oh well, she will have to feel those feelings, I'm not gonna try and make her feel comfortable and make myself feel uncomfortable, not this time ... at last, I felt progress in my soul.

I could give so many more examples from the day, but it feels like that is enough for now. I hope you have got the feeling of what I'm trying to express. When I was packing up there was another feeling brewing up inside me which I didn't see coming. That feeling was true gratitude. I was so grateful for all the day events. I was so grateful for the support that I had received from Mike and my girlfriend for helping me set up the whole thing. I was so grateful for the festival for asking me to be there. I was so grateful for having the courage to be able to give the opportunity for every single person to have the chance of trying wheat grass regardless of their financial situation. I felt blessed and full of abundance. This day gave me the faith that one day we will live in a free world and I was so proud to be apart of it.

p.s. In case you were wondering the stall took £104 cash and every tray was used. If I would have charged, maybe I would not of sold as much, leaving me having left overs. How many hearts did I help open ... God only Who knows ?

As I said before I like to use film clips to enhance my messages so here is the one today which is so inspiring Enjoy ...

Law of Desire

My latest posts have been about passions and desires. I wrote about wanting to connect to passions and desires and the importance of that in my life. This clip explains it perfectly. Huge gratitude to AJ for sharing these teachings and for WizardShak for putting these videos together, totally life changing for me.

My Garden paradise

Hey people ... I thought I would show you my garden. I have been working and learning in this 2 acre biodynamic garden at the Michael Hall Rudolf Steiner school now for the last year and a half. Since eating mostly raw food, I thought it wise to learn how to grow my own food. It feels so empowering to be able to grow my own food. Biodynamic gardening means it is not only totally organic, but we also plant using astrology. We follow a special zodiac calender to help us know when the best time is to perform certain jobs in the garden. We also use herbal tea's and preparations to spray on the garden to help with plant growth, soil life and disease. I have so many pictures to post so here are a just few snap shots of me and my garden to give you a quick insight ... Enjoy

View of the garden with School in the back ground

Victorian style Sun Dial
3 polly tunnels and 2 glass houses

The fruits of my labour ... red currents , fennel and beetroot

Inside the glass house growing beans and a bed of lettuce ............. > > > >

The starting of tomatoes

Sleeping in the rhubarb bed

Leeks

Chomping on Red russian Kale

An English Rose and a bee getting busy ... So come on guys, get creating your very own paradise garden. Will write again soon x

My new breakfast Smoothie

1 Banana
6 spoons of Shelled hemp seed
2 spoons of Sprouted flax seed
2 cups of Hemp milk
1 spoon of Reishi mushroom powder
Dash of Cinnamon

options to add seasonal berries

That's it ... That simple ... delicious

small steps to BIG ACTION

So once again I am shown that my life is just like a Martin Scorsese movie, a life with big twists and an ending which nobody could ever guess. Accept in life there is no ending, it is just one long twist with lots little endings being tied up here and there as the plot continues to thicken. Life is like that isn't it ? Just when you think you have got it all sorted, in comes the next scene which takes you off in a way which you never thought would or could happen. Well that's how it is for me at least.

My prayers lately have been asking God to help me with my passions and desires, and this is where twist number one of my movie slots in.. Never would I of thought that I would ever believe in God. Admitting that I Believe in God creates twist number two of things 'I never thought I would be doing', and that is actually 'praying' to God for help in my blockbuster life. This then reveals to me twist number three of feeling that ' I am actually asking for help', which then exposes twist number four in this thriller movie of 'I thought I had my life all together'... lights, camera, action and that's a wrap ! I was wrong, not so much wrong, but just more realisations of truth to be known about my life and its journey.

This is nothing new, everyone knows that life has it's up's and downs, but when you're actually on the down side, its hard to remember that life can be a joy. And just when life is feeling so amazing, its often hard to feel that nothing bad will ever happen again, until it does.

Through my prayers I came to the conclusion that I am often very punishing to myself. The expectations I have on myself are so high. And then when I don't reach my high expectation, I beat myself up. I would never beat anyone else up, but I allow to destroy myself. My approach now is to lessen the intensity of the expectations I have of myself. Sounds easy eh ... but not when those expectations have been embedded in my soul for a very long time. My trouble is that I always have the feeling of that I want to be, do or go somewhere other than where I am at, doing or being. I want to run before I can walk ... so my lesson is humbleness. An example of this is ... I had the feeling that one of my passions and desires is to 'write' ... but the expectation I had on myself was that it must be a great read, best seller, a book turned into a movie. It is like I can only validate myself as writer if it is validated in some big way by the world. Placing this expectation on myself just blocked me straight away. How can I write an award winning film when I'm not even able to manage to write a short blog. Thus, my practice now is to write short blogs, frequently, instead of starting long ones and not having the enthusiasm to finish them. Stepping stones is key for me ... this makes sure that I walk first before running. Writing shorter blogs also gives me the sense of completion, of finishing something that I started, it helps me practice to edit in small chunks. I've known all this for many years, but my falling hurdle is that I very rarely put it into practice. I have great ideas, and the thorn in my foot is that I don't always act on them. The greatest pain I ever feel is when I do not ACT on my feelings and ideas. The pain has become to unbearable now, it feels like I am being forced to ACT or I will cripple myself. I can actually feel the pain realising from my soul as I write this blog, 'this is a start Perry' my soul is saying to me, it feels very healing and I feel a sense of pride welling up in me.

So my lesson of today is to hold my dream in my vision with all it's expectations and greatness, and simultaneously be humble in the greatness of who I already am.

I love movies, there are so many films from which I learn so much. I love how films can move my emotions, inspire me and touch me deep. What I desire to do is combine my blogs with movie clips. I want to suggest to you that you watch the movie clip at the end of each blog I post. I will specifically choose a clip which intuitively came to me whilst writing the blog. This I believe will be the perfect way to combine my love for writing and film ignited by my burning passion to inspire people to become their GREATEST self.

On that note I love you and leave you with this clip ... perfect for this post. YES, its from a Martin Scorsese film, showing how at some point, all the twists and turns of our life will become clear. A deeper lesson still for myself, I smiled how in this post I wrote about running before walking,having a thorn in my foot and crippling myself. Those words led me to this clip. I actually do have a verruca on my left foot which is causing me great pain ... I wonder now if it will start go away .... watch and you will know what I mean ... EnJoY.


http://youtu.be/jbqkL2pZR6c

(the code has been disabled, so you will have to copy and paste this on youth, sorry its not straight forward this time, but DO IT and act because its a totally amazing clip and you will love it )

This Is my latest passion

The Fats Of Life ...

All food is broken down into sugar. That means all carbohydrates and all protein are eventually broken down into sugar, in the form of glucose, and this is known as a simple sugar. Do not be scared to hear the word sugar, for this is not a bad thing, because the all the cells in our bodies rely upon glucose for energy. However, once the body has used all the glucose it needs to function, the surplus glucose will be stored in the body. The main places in the body which excess glucose is stored, is in the liver, muscles and in fat. When blood glucose levels are too high, the pancreas secretes a hormone called insulin. It is insulin which combines with the glucose to form glycogen. Glycogen is basically stored glucose/sugar/energy, and it will be used effectively again when the body needs it. When the body eventually needs more glucose in the blood for energy, the pancreas will be stimulated to secrete another hormone called Glucagon. Glucagon, will then go the target areas of the liver, muscles and fat and transfer the stored glycogen back into glucose/sugar/energy for the body to use and function. This is the basic principle on how the body uses sugar as energy... So, what's the problem ? if the body is able to transfer sugar into energy then what's the big deal ?

The problem lies in FAT. If there is too much sugar in the blood, meaning that the body is functioning well as it should, and that it doesn't need anymore glucose for energy, it will just store the sugar to use at a later time when needed ... however, if one keeps adding more and more sugar to the system before the body needs it, the body will just keep on storing and storing the sugar in the fat cells, creating more and more fat ... hence, this is how people get fat. This brings us back to the subject of limiting even raw food deserts, because most raw deserts are sweetened with fruit or fruit syrups. As we learned, fruits are classed as a carbohydrate ...and all carbohydrates are broken down into ... yes, you've guessed it ...SUGAR ... and as we have just learned, this sugar will be stored as fat, even if it came from fruit.

As we can observe, people who are fat, tend to be over weight. People who are over weight, are at a higher risk of developing diabetes. There are two types of diabetes ... Type 1~ meaning that person is un able to produce insulin, which results in high blood glucose levels. Type 2 ~ meaning that body is un able to use the insulin which has been produced by the pancreas, and this is called insulin resistant. Diabetes can be fatal, so this is another reason to eat a low glycimic diet or a low sugar diet.




Cholesterol is another word used a lot to describe fat. Although we need to be careful how we use this word cholesterol, because not all cholesterol is bad for us, in fact, there is a type of cholesterol which is absolutely essential for our health. There are two types of cholesterol ... LDL ~ Low density lipoprotein, and HDL~ High density lipoprotein. LDL can build up in the arteries, forming plaque and eventual blockages that can lead to heart disease or stroke. Foods which contain the most LDL are meat, fish and dairy. On the other hand HDL is the good cholesterol,which the body needs to make all of our hormones. Fruits and vegetables/leafy greens are high in HDL. This simple fact alone is another reason why Gabriel teaches the world to eat a raw plant based diet. Triglyceride, which is stored fat from excess sugar actually decreases the levels of HDL in the body, so we can see again another correlation between sugar and fat.

Also, Low levels of HDL reduce the function of certain hormones like dopamine which can lead to depression. Interestingly enough, depression is very common with people who have heart disease, diabetes or for people who are over weight...again this shows us the relationship and dangers of excess sugar.

Remember, people who live the longest ... eat less than most ... people who live the longest eat less at night ... people who live the longest, eat a live raw food diet, which is very low in sugar.

Why do live foods create the best anti aging effect, life extension effect, anti chronic degenerative disease effect and bring the highest amount of vitality to any type of food ? Part of the reason is because when we cook food, we destroy the enzymes. Enzymes contain the power of life itself. Therefore it is in our own health interest to increase the amount of enzymes in our enzyme pool, thus enabling us to increase the quality of our health and longevity. Enzymes are living proteins which activate every metabolic process. They are essential for digestion and also help repair DNA and RNA. It doesn't stop there, enzymes transform energy, dissolve fibre and prevent clotting. They can help heal cancer and a number of other health issues like arthritis and rheumatoid disease, by boosting the immune system.

With age, under stress and after illness, the amount of enzymes in our bodies decreases. This is because enzymes are critical for health and are used up in those situations. The best way to preserve our enzyme pool, is to eat a live raw food, for it is jam packed with its own essential life giving enzymes. If we cook food, the enzymes are destroyed, thus, we then have to use our own vital enzymes from our pool supply to digest the food, when preferably they could be used to support our immune system and help keep us healthy. So the answer to health becomes easy, increase the amount live enzymes in your diet.

Here are some examples of food which contain their own essential enzymes; Seeds are made up of primarily oil and protein so the enzyme content is lipase which digests the oil and protease for the protein. In seeds there is not much amylase because they do not contain much starch. When seeds are sprouted they then seriously increase the amount of enzymes. Amylase – breaks down carbohydrates, starches, and sugars which are prevalent in potatoes, fruits, vegetables ...So you can become familiar with scientific talk, here is a broad look at other enzymes and what they break down.

• lactase – breaks down lactose (milk sugars)
• diastase – digests vegetable starch
• sucrase – digests complex sugars and starches
• maltase – digests disaccharides to monosaccharides (malt sugars)
• glucoamylase – breaks down starch to glucose
• alpha-glactosidase – facilitates digestion of beans, legumes, seeds,
roots, soy products, and underground stems

• pepsin – breaks down proteins into peptides
• peptidase – breaks down small peptide proteins to amino acids
• bromelain – derived from pineapple, breaks down a broad spectrum of proteins, has anti-inflammatory properties, effective over very wide pH range
• papain – derived from raw papaya, broad range of substrates and pH, works well breaking down small and large proteins
• cellulase – breaks down cellulose, plant fiber



Enzyme supplements are recommended by Gabriel Cousens for their pre digestible qualities, and for also building up our enzyme pool supply. The extra supplementation can take off the stress of the entire digestive enzyme system. Fermented foods such as sauerkraut are also greatly supplied with their own enzymes and this is a really great cost effective way to aid fill the body with living enzymes for free. I feel the more you research the powerful effects of enzymes, the more you will be inclined to eat a live raw plant based diet because it will just make sense.

Lovers Electron Diet

Lover's Electron Diet and way of Life

The Waking up to a new level of awareness of who you are, and what you are in relation to yourself, others and every other living organism in the world, is one way to describe the Lover's electron diet, and it's very basic to understand . When we eat a diet which is high in electrons, which we get when we consume at least 80% live raw food, then we are able to create and release endorphins, giving us the natural high feeling. This increases the flow of cosmic energy so that we may feel the love radiating from every cell in our body. The Lover's electron Diet suggests that we are able to live a life from the heart with love, and to be free from all addictions which bound us and block us from being in the flow of the natural rhythms of life. The Lover's electron diet will be activated within you spontaneously when you eat raw foods, excercise and meditate. although it may take some effort and preparation initially to make the shift which brings this new level of awareness. Once you are in the flow, the way of living will be of self creative expression, joy, compassion and Aliveness, with the feeling to create optimal health for yourself and others.

Stress in some ways could be seen to be the opposite of being in the flow, and stress also contributes to decreasing the levels of endorphins. Under stress it is not un common for people to find an addictive habit to counter the feeling of stress by increasing their endorphin levels with alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, sex and excessive exercise. Whilst they do increase the endorphin levels, research shows they also at the same time decrease other essential supportive neurotransmitters and natural opoids. By using such substances or activities to increase the endorphins in our body, in effect the body then stops being able to produce its own natural levels of endorphins and thus stress and depression are likely to increase and be the predominant feeling. This further encourages the individual to be engaged in addictive habits which bring an un natural false sense of love and joy. Happiness and love are then only found when engaging in the addictive behaviour, instead of emanating from within ones being in every moment of every day. When we live the 6 foundations, the natural level of endorphins are released, and the role of stress has its natural place of giving us a sense of urgency when needed, like in emergency situations or when we need to get things accomplished or go to work. A deficiency in endorphins can create the inability for one to give and receive love and we may suffer from " Mal illumination".

Sun Light

In the book Conscious Eating Gabriel Cousens writes that ' from a quantum physics point of view, Photons never become old, they have the same quickness as time', they are involved with anti entropy, the anti again process. The sun emits this powerful photon anti aging energy. The suns photon energy is attracted to the sun like electrons within our biological systems. So not only do the high electron foods donate electrons to our bodies, but they also act as solar resonance fields in the body to attract, store and conduct the sun's energy in our bodies. Light attracting Light. Minerals are frequencies of light, Live raw foods are packed with both electrons and minerals, and therefore light. When we eat these foods, we are in fact eating the light of the Sun and activating the light from within us which shines, radiates and attracts more light. The greater our store of light, the greater chances we have of increasing our electromagnetic field and consequently more energy is available for healing and the maintenance of optimal health.
It seems it would make sense for us to eat foods which are rich in this Light attracting force, in order for us attract more light into our bodies as discussed. The two highest food sources which are rich in this electron energy are flax seed and spirulina. Both these foods increase the amount of electron energy in the body. Eating with a protein source like bee pollen, the flax increases its electron cloud bonds and it is better absorbed in the body. Eating at least a 80% Live raw food, meditating, practicing prana building exercise, also increases this electron force. Spending at least 30 minutes a day naked in the suns warmth, absorbing all the suns rays is also beneficial

So the message is Love, the message is Light. Together we learn to LOVE LIGHT. Love and light are the UN SEEN forces of nutrition, although with awareness and through spiritual evolution, Love is uncovered by the Light, and the blind will SEE once more ~ Amen

Transition ~ Desserts ~ Sugar ~ My experience

For people who are new to eating a raw diet, the concept of a no refined sugar or dairy dessert may seem impossible to make or tasteless, but in fact when you have experienced the desserts made by the talented and passionate chefs at the Tree Of Life rejuvenation centre, you will find that the desserts even exceed traditional recipes.
Transitioning from the regular Western diet to a live raw vegan diet can sometimes be tough, especially after years of eating tempting, great smelling foods which of course also taste delicious, although as we have discovered those food sources can be detrimental to hour health, so how do we hoola~hoop~around this one ?
Raw desserts are a great way to be introduced to the person who is transitioning, meaning that you are keen to learn and eat a predominantly raw food diet, but in the moment you may still enjoy your cooked food,meat and dairy. 100% live raw organic food is what I concider to be the healthiest source of food for humans to consume on this planet at this moment of evolution. Although going 100% raw can take many years of practice, for it maybe that you hold many personal blockages or are controlled by beliefs, peer pressure, emotional eating and bad food habits. For the person who is still in transition, it may happen that your system is still too acidic, and that by changing your diet to eating an raw food only based diet, in a short period of time, may not work for you, for perhaps your taste buds and sense of smell are not used to the alkalizing properties of green produce. When transitioning, it is important to not be to hard on yourself, so don't feel down if it takes you time to make the switch, and ultimately remember that peace is the way, and that includes peace with yourself.

A great way to transition to being 100% raw vegan is to cut out the cooked and sugary stuff slowly. Desserts of course are everyone's favourites, but the down side is they contain lots of refined sugars. So a simple switch and a great way to step up your raw intake without taken away the sweetness is with raw deserts. By eating a raw dessert you are able to dazzle your senses with wide range of fruits, nuts and seeds, which are full of life sustaining vitamins and minerals. Exceptional recipes can also be made with coconuts and cacao, not mention all the other health supporting super foods like maca, mesquite, lucama, flax seed, irish moss and goji berries. The advantage of eating a raw dessert is that, firstly you cut out all refined sugars, and secondly the tasty pudding will still maintain all its nutritional value unlike a cooked desert which are depleted because of heating.

When one has been in transition for a while, and is coping well to eat more of a plant based diet, the time may come to start looking and cutting down on the amount of desserts one eats. Take away my fun you might say ... but even the sweet sugars found in fruit desserts which are there to add flavour, and minerals, may also be taken away your health. Again, this is going back to the fact that fruit, although it is not refined, still contains sugar, and too much sugar, in no matter the form it is ingested, can lead to all sorts of life threatening illness like obesity, diabetes and heart problems, just to name a few. Eating lots of sugar can be linked to, sudden peaks and troughs in the amount of glucose in your blood; which may give you the feeling of fatigue, irritability, dizziness, insomnia, poor concentration and forgetfulness, excessive thirst, depression, digestive disturbances and blurred vision. Since the brain depends on an even supply of glucose it is no surprise to find that sugar has been implicated in aggressive behaviour. This is why we should cut out from our diets all refined sugars, and that we should eat a moderate amount of natural sugars found in raw foods.

The subject of sugar can get very confusing as it comes in many different forms, which doesn't help when trying to read food labels. Here is a break down of how sugars can be found...
... Glucose is a sugar found usually with other sugars, in fruits and vegetables. It is a key material in the metabolism of all plants and animals. Many of our principal foods are converted into glucose in our bodies. Glucose is always present in our bloodstream, and it is often called "blood sugar". Dextrose, also called "corn sugar", is derived synthetically from starch. Fructose is fruit sugar. Maltose is malt sugar. Lactose is milk sugar. Sucrose is refined sugar made from sugar cane and sugar beet. Glucose has always been an essential element in the human bloodstream. Sucrose addiction is something new in the history of the human animal.

I hope you have now gained a little more knowledge about transitioning with desserts and why one must still be careful to not eat to many, going back for a second helping can be hard, so we could say that... ' we should enjoy the sweetness of life instead'.

Quick guide to fasting

The 1st of January for a lot of people is a time to make a new start, wipe the slate clean and set new intentions for the new year, and what better way to execute that transformation than with a spiritual fast... That's what I did to start the year.


Spiritual Fasting is a part of Gabriel's recommendations which is to be integrated into our live raw food diet. Fasting can be initiated anytime of the year, although a warmer climate maybe preferable for beginners. Fasting has many powerful effects on all levels of our being. Physically it helps to clean our blood, alkalize the blood, remove dead cells, remove toxins, cleanse the digestive system, repair, restore and total rejuvenate our whole body, mind and soul. The first 3 days maybe the hardest, and it is around this time that body recognizes that it is in fasting mode and not digestion mode. It is after 3 days of fasting when process of autolysis kicks in, this means the break down and removal of un healthy cells. 7 days of green juice fasting is recommended for full rejuvenation ... as is also highlighted in the classic book 'Essene gospel of peace' it writes ...

..."I tell you truly, your Heavenly Father loves you without end, for he also allows you to pay in seven days the debts of seven years. Those that owe the sins and diseases of seven years, but pay honestly and persevere till the seventh day, to them shall our Heavenly Father forgive the debts of all these seven years."

On the mental level, fasting creates a space for the mind to slow down. Normally when fasting our minds usually become calm and thinking can becomes clear, so fasting is also great for contemplation and reflection, especially if life presents itself with tough decisions that have to be made. Gabriel recommends to meditate or pray when fasting, as this has the advantage of stilling the mind and connecting with the divine, and this is why it is called a 'spiritual fast' ...

So what goes into this green juice ... Well ... any green vegetable that is pleasing to you. A classic green recipe used for fasting is cucumber and celery, and the reason for this is that a lot of juice can be extracted from these water filled mineral rich vegetables. Adding lemon juice or ginger is also a great way to enhance the flavour, although as well as enhancing the flavour they are also ideal juices for health. 16oz of green juice drunk 4 times sporadically through the day will be enough to see you successfully complete your fast.

Here are some other recommendations and guidelines to follow when fasting

* Take a enema at least once per day. Colonics are also very effective
*Brush the skin 3~5 mins per day
* Get plenty of Sunshine
*Take Moderate exercise
*Practice Yoga to help move lymphatic system
*Take saunas to help remove toxins through the skin with sweating
*Abstain from sexual activity to conserve energy
*Use flower essences to help balance and align the subtle bodies.
*Tongue scrapping to remove toxins on the tongue



It is important to also break the fast consciously. A ratio of one day of breaking the fast for each three days of fasting is a guideline. Which would mean a minimum of 3 days to break 7 day fast. Breaking the fast with citrus juice is a helpful way to start the digestive system flowing again. Taking acidophilus is also recommended to replenish the bowl flora.

Nearly everyone who fasts, discovers the same thing, that when they fast they actually have no hunger and more energy than they normally have. It is indeed liberating to find out that if we let go and trust that we will be taken care of. Fasting is the simplest, easiest and most effective way to find out that we do indeed have the power and freedom to heal and take control of our bodies.

~ In peace

I'm Back ...

Choo Choo ... I'm back on the train !

I have not blogged for a while because I have been a very busy boy indeed.. what with this and that and the other. Winter started to set in, the nights grew darker earlier, the mornings became cold and windy and then along came the snow, sorry to sound like the weather man or my Dad, I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm still learning to function well in Winter. Next was Christmas, home with the family, back to my root shoots which was very nourishing. Shuttling up next was New Years Eve ... whoop whoop, I stayed home with my Mother and didn't do very much, not even a whistle passed my lips. The 1st of Jan was the beginning of 2011, and this time I started with a by becoming as clean as a whistle with a 7 day green juice fast which consisted of celery,cucumber, ginger and lemon ~ Even my Mother at 56 got on board too ~ Amazing ! she did the whole 7 days and she has never fasted before, and she had to work too, power to her Raw soul. I've been writing and studying lots for various things over the months which has taken up my time, which meant I had to jump off the blog train. Ive been deepening my understanding of raw food science, Essene studies, Bio dynamic gardening which includes the works of Rudolf Steiner, Anastasia books and planning workshops for this year .. phew ... OK, now that I have got that off my chest, I'd better post some stuff ... Because I have been busy writing for www.Gabrielcousens.com I am gonna post some of the latest articles that I have written on there which gives me some time recuperate and gives you the chance to learn something new maybe ... PeAcE and Happy New Year even though its the 24Th Jan x go celebrate x

I need to kick back and relax ...