Friday, July 29, 2016
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Woe to the wonder
There is a love that is blossoming,
and it is magnificent.
I must add that this love has very rarely been seen before,
quite literally...
It was a while ago that a man decided,
and a while ago since he departed.
But he is back now,
and I ought to tell you that he didn't come alone.
I'm glad they returned.
I'm as glad as a field of sunflowers at dawn,
for it was a long dark night in Yorkshire.
I listened to him you know,
that man,
the man who came back.
I listened to what he had to say about love.
And I can tell you,
I hung on every word...
a tear of truth rolled down my cheek.
Saviour.
He talked of a love that I had imaged when I was child,
woe to the wonder,
woe to the innocence.
For a while, I didn't know where that child went.
It was like he ran away from me, not wanting to be found.
Although I caught him once when he wasn't looking...
but it was easy to catch him then though,
for he,
well...
he was sat silently still-
gazing out of an autumn window,
just staring,
...not smiling,
just...
...starring.
I called his name to surprise him with a gift,
but... he was too far gone out to sea,
life capsizing...
What happened to all those promises?
Back then tears didn't roll down my cheeks,
they just froze in my heart.
Well anyway,
I wish not to burden you any further with my days of yore,
but the man who came back,
you know,
the one who talked of the love that I had once imagined...
...I can't thank him enough.
Woe to the wonder.
Woe to the innocence.
There is a love that is blossoming,
and it is magnificent.
and it is magnificent.
I must add that this love has very rarely been seen before,
quite literally...
It was a while ago that a man decided,
and a while ago since he departed.
But he is back now,
and I ought to tell you that he didn't come alone.
I'm glad they returned.
I'm as glad as a field of sunflowers at dawn,
for it was a long dark night in Yorkshire.
I listened to him you know,
that man,
the man who came back.
I listened to what he had to say about love.
And I can tell you,
I hung on every word...
a tear of truth rolled down my cheek.
Saviour.
He talked of a love that I had imaged when I was child,
woe to the wonder,
woe to the innocence.
For a while, I didn't know where that child went.
It was like he ran away from me, not wanting to be found.
Although I caught him once when he wasn't looking...
but it was easy to catch him then though,
for he,
well...
he was sat silently still-
gazing out of an autumn window,
just staring,
...not smiling,
just...
...starring.
I called his name to surprise him with a gift,
but... he was too far gone out to sea,
life capsizing...
What happened to all those promises?
Back then tears didn't roll down my cheeks,
they just froze in my heart.
Well anyway,
I wish not to burden you any further with my days of yore,
but the man who came back,
you know,
the one who talked of the love that I had once imagined...
...I can't thank him enough.
Woe to the wonder.
Woe to the innocence.
There is a love that is blossoming,
and it is magnificent.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Believe the hype
Speak O little one,
Speak.
And when you speak, speak with your eyes,
for your eyes do not lie.
Fear not, and pay lip service to your hearts desires.
Speak from your heart.
Speak in Truth,
and believe the hype.
Stand O little one,
Stand,
And when you stand, face the Sun and beam with confidence.
Fear not, you are Gods creation, thus hold Faith no shadow will cast behind you.
Stand from your heart
Stand in Truth,
and believe the hype.
Express O little one,
Express.
And when you express, show yourself, for nobody can see you hiding behind the wall.
Fear not, the world awaits your glory, and your glory they shall receive.
Express from your heart
Express in Truth,
and believe the hype.
Speak.
And when you speak, speak with your eyes,
for your eyes do not lie.
Fear not, and pay lip service to your hearts desires.
Speak from your heart.
Speak in Truth,
and believe the hype.
Stand O little one,
Stand,
And when you stand, face the Sun and beam with confidence.
Fear not, you are Gods creation, thus hold Faith no shadow will cast behind you.
Stand from your heart
Stand in Truth,
and believe the hype.
Express O little one,
Express.
And when you express, show yourself, for nobody can see you hiding behind the wall.
Fear not, the world awaits your glory, and your glory they shall receive.
Express from your heart
Express in Truth,
and believe the hype.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Love
You believe that you cannot Love your enemies,
and to prove your claim you wield a sword of justice and call it Love,
but I tell you that you are wrong.
You desire not to desire.
You desire not to learn
You desire not to leave your comfort.
But I tell you, lest you change your hearts desires to know the Truth of Love, the pillow which rests your head at night, will become the pillow where loved ones will lay flowers.
So do not think you cannot change.
Even I just yesterday would have told you that I have a Soul.
Save today I know that I am a Soul.
Let us pray.
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
A stolen glance
O what has become of me?
I sense that I was once pure ...
Thump!
But not any more.
"You think too much" they say, "You're striving for perfection when perfection is impossible", "You're better off just lightening up a little", "Let your hair down" ... "Have a little fun" ... "You only live once",
"Besides"..."Everybody does it".
"What they don't know, doesn't harm".
"You can look but you can't touch".
"You can read the menu as long as you do not order and eat the meal".
... "You're only human after all".
Is it True what they say, God. Am I too picky, too frigid, too rigid in my thoughts ? Am I striving for the impossible? Am I too hard on my self? Am I crazy to believe the words written in the olden days ... "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart "
Surely that bar is set too high!
Surely those words are trying to tame and stifle the loins of bygone men?
Surely those words cannot apply to the modern liberated man,
What of his freedom?
Aye but no Lord, those words of the prophet ring true upon my soul,
I feel it my bones, my longings... my heart.
Guilt has gotten a hold of my conscience, and it wont let up.
My thoughts torture my mind like a dripping cold tap.
There's no escape.
I believe God that these pressing feelings have been imbued by you, to help guide me in the right direction, casting out instant pleasures and debauchery of the flesh.
My sin has been seen by the light of your love, and its warmth bends me like a bow towards the ever lasting eternal joy and promised land.
Have any of your children lived this truth?
I only know of one.
Aye Lord, I have that feeling which knows that you are the way to goodness. And that of my current way only leads to suffering.
O how I pray to walk your path.
But still, I cannot lie, I am not yet as sincere as you would have me be...
I want my way to be the way, for my faith in you is not yet full. I refrain from following you for I am too steeped in my desires and pleasures that give me frivolous excitement. Even in the act, I know my attempts for true joy are but temporary... I know I will not be fruitful, yet I carry on collecting invisible apples, always left with empty hands and always left with an empty heart.
I even lie to myself and say 'just this once won't harm', deep down knowing that this 'once' will turn into twice and thrice more...
My heart sinks a little deeper,
My integrity loosens and gives more slack to the cord,
the cord that shines over yonder,
connecting me to my one true love.
It is slipping.
O Lord free me from my selfish ways, for just once I want to know what true Love feels like. Does it truly promise your Kingdom? O how my head bows in shame for I am far from your promise.
Yet you know my shame.
Yet you know my pain,
I pray your hand will reach inside my soul and rid me of this burden.
I pray Lord that my eyes lay only upon the one you created for me.
May I believe the words of my grandmother when she used to say "As God made them, he paired them".
My eyes have stolen glances saved for another mans heart.
O forgive me for I have sinned.
May I be born again. May I become a new creature so that when my brother sees my eyes flicker at the sight of his beloved, he knows they are only adjusting to the brightness of her soul.
And when my eyes look down in her presence, it is not to hide my appetite, but tis only to acknowledge her presence.
Let me not follow the way of the common man.
Let me not lower my bar to excuse myself.
Let me instead follow the ones who were once mortal...
The ones who now sing amongst the choirs in the brightest of the celestial spheres.
Let me follow the ones who raised their bars so high that calling upon your hand was their only savoir from falling.
Let me have such faith.
If I cannot go alone, then let them be my guide.
And if I must rub shoulders with the sheep, let it be that I am a shepherd.
Let it be that I am full to the brim with hope and faith and that my heart beholds your gracious love and truth.
Let me not go back to the herds wearing only the shepherd's cloak.
Let my staff not be made of ash.
Let my words be golden to match the colours of my heart.
And if I must be a sheep, then Lord, may you be my shepherd.
I wish not to be blind, nor to take the hand of the blind.
For only you God can see the full light.
Let my heart be so pure that there is no need to turn my eyes when another man's half crosses my path.
May my brother have such trust in me, that I could see his woman's naked flesh, and the only thing that stirs me is the joy of knowing her heart.
O Lord,
forgive me for I have sinned.
I sense that I was once pure ...
Thump!
But not any more.
"You think too much" they say, "You're striving for perfection when perfection is impossible", "You're better off just lightening up a little", "Let your hair down" ... "Have a little fun" ... "You only live once",
"Besides"..."Everybody does it".
"What they don't know, doesn't harm".
"You can look but you can't touch".
"You can read the menu as long as you do not order and eat the meal".
... "You're only human after all".
Is it True what they say, God. Am I too picky, too frigid, too rigid in my thoughts ? Am I striving for the impossible? Am I too hard on my self? Am I crazy to believe the words written in the olden days ... "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart "
Surely that bar is set too high!
Surely those words are trying to tame and stifle the loins of bygone men?
Surely those words cannot apply to the modern liberated man,
What of his freedom?
Aye but no Lord, those words of the prophet ring true upon my soul,
I feel it my bones, my longings... my heart.
Guilt has gotten a hold of my conscience, and it wont let up.
My thoughts torture my mind like a dripping cold tap.
There's no escape.
I believe God that these pressing feelings have been imbued by you, to help guide me in the right direction, casting out instant pleasures and debauchery of the flesh.
My sin has been seen by the light of your love, and its warmth bends me like a bow towards the ever lasting eternal joy and promised land.
Have any of your children lived this truth?
I only know of one.
Aye Lord, I have that feeling which knows that you are the way to goodness. And that of my current way only leads to suffering.
O how I pray to walk your path.
But still, I cannot lie, I am not yet as sincere as you would have me be...
I want my way to be the way, for my faith in you is not yet full. I refrain from following you for I am too steeped in my desires and pleasures that give me frivolous excitement. Even in the act, I know my attempts for true joy are but temporary... I know I will not be fruitful, yet I carry on collecting invisible apples, always left with empty hands and always left with an empty heart.
I even lie to myself and say 'just this once won't harm', deep down knowing that this 'once' will turn into twice and thrice more...
My heart sinks a little deeper,
My integrity loosens and gives more slack to the cord,
the cord that shines over yonder,
connecting me to my one true love.
It is slipping.
O Lord free me from my selfish ways, for just once I want to know what true Love feels like. Does it truly promise your Kingdom? O how my head bows in shame for I am far from your promise.
Yet you know my shame.
Yet you know my pain,
I pray your hand will reach inside my soul and rid me of this burden.
I pray Lord that my eyes lay only upon the one you created for me.
May I believe the words of my grandmother when she used to say "As God made them, he paired them".
My eyes have stolen glances saved for another mans heart.
O forgive me for I have sinned.
May I be born again. May I become a new creature so that when my brother sees my eyes flicker at the sight of his beloved, he knows they are only adjusting to the brightness of her soul.
And when my eyes look down in her presence, it is not to hide my appetite, but tis only to acknowledge her presence.
Let me not follow the way of the common man.
Let me not lower my bar to excuse myself.
Let me instead follow the ones who were once mortal...
The ones who now sing amongst the choirs in the brightest of the celestial spheres.
Let me follow the ones who raised their bars so high that calling upon your hand was their only savoir from falling.
Let me have such faith.
If I cannot go alone, then let them be my guide.
And if I must rub shoulders with the sheep, let it be that I am a shepherd.
Let it be that I am full to the brim with hope and faith and that my heart beholds your gracious love and truth.
Let me not go back to the herds wearing only the shepherd's cloak.
Let my staff not be made of ash.
Let my words be golden to match the colours of my heart.
And if I must be a sheep, then Lord, may you be my shepherd.
I wish not to be blind, nor to take the hand of the blind.
For only you God can see the full light.
Let my heart be so pure that there is no need to turn my eyes when another man's half crosses my path.
May my brother have such trust in me, that I could see his woman's naked flesh, and the only thing that stirs me is the joy of knowing her heart.
O Lord,
forgive me for I have sinned.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Longing
God asked me to share the Truth
to all the open ears,
to cast out all the doubt in souls,
to cast out all the curdling fears.
God asked me to share the Love,
to all the beating hearts,
in hope that they would long for more,
to fill the grieving empty parts.
Seekers,
all you seekers,
offer your prayers now,
offer your hearts and let your head bow.
Seekers,
all you seekers,
drop to your knees now,
drop to your knees and let your head bow.
God asked me to let you know that saviours on its way,
all your debts are pardoned
let forgiveness be redemptions pay.
Your enemies, your sins and hurt can all be healed with Love
do not discard this precious Law
for this decree is bind with Trust
God asked me to let you know that you are not alone,
Her Love is waiting tenderly,
and longs to bring you safely home.
If you could only know the glory God has planned for you,
you'd seize to keep yourself alive,
you'd long for Love to birth you new.
So seekers,
all you seekers,
offer your prayers now,
offer your hearts and let your head bow.
Seekers,
all you seekers,
drop to your knees now,
drop to your knees and let your head bow.
For God asked me to share the Truth
to all the open ears,
to cast out all the doubt in souls,
to cast out all the curdling fears.
God asked me to share the Love,
to all the beating hearts,
in hope that they would long for more,
to fill the grieving empty parts
to all the open ears,
to cast out all the doubt in souls,
to cast out all the curdling fears.
God asked me to share the Love,
to all the beating hearts,
in hope that they would long for more,
to fill the grieving empty parts.
Seekers,
all you seekers,
offer your prayers now,
offer your hearts and let your head bow.
Seekers,
all you seekers,
drop to your knees now,
drop to your knees and let your head bow.
God asked me to let you know that saviours on its way,
all your debts are pardoned
let forgiveness be redemptions pay.
Your enemies, your sins and hurt can all be healed with Love
do not discard this precious Law
for this decree is bind with Trust
God asked me to let you know that you are not alone,
Her Love is waiting tenderly,
and longs to bring you safely home.
If you could only know the glory God has planned for you,
you'd seize to keep yourself alive,
you'd long for Love to birth you new.
So seekers,
all you seekers,
offer your prayers now,
offer your hearts and let your head bow.
Seekers,
all you seekers,
drop to your knees now,
drop to your knees and let your head bow.
For God asked me to share the Truth
to all the open ears,
to cast out all the doubt in souls,
to cast out all the curdling fears.
God asked me to share the Love,
to all the beating hearts,
in hope that they would long for more,
to fill the grieving empty parts
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Humilty
You can call me all the names under the sun for all I care,
your words can never hurt me - Gods light has already shined her Love upon my Soul,
and I've already felt the worst in me -
tis the reason I am forgiven.
Your words will burn and turn to ashes,
yet I,
will shine forever more.
My Soul burns Love for the rising sun,
and my Soul burns Love for my rising doubts,
as the rays of Love pour forth from God,
my heart shines through the darkened clouds.
Your tail will sting your very own tongue,
and you will die from the poison you reserved for me.
Nothing but death can be born from wickedness,
and you my friend hold no torch.
Yet nay, do not fret,
I am loved not more nor less than thee,
and you shall not be forgotten.
Our Mother and Father Love you,
they have you in their sight,
prayer to them my dear sib
and bring back peace to Life.
your words can never hurt me - Gods light has already shined her Love upon my Soul,
and I've already felt the worst in me -
tis the reason I am forgiven.
Your words will burn and turn to ashes,
yet I,
will shine forever more.
My Soul burns Love for the rising sun,
and my Soul burns Love for my rising doubts,
as the rays of Love pour forth from God,
my heart shines through the darkened clouds.
Your tail will sting your very own tongue,
and you will die from the poison you reserved for me.
Nothing but death can be born from wickedness,
and you my friend hold no torch.
Yet nay, do not fret,
I am loved not more nor less than thee,
and you shall not be forgotten.
Our Mother and Father Love you,
they have you in their sight,
prayer to them my dear sib
and bring back peace to Life.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Mercy
I stood there,
with my sword in my hand,
covered in blood,
panting.
I don't know how long we had been fighting.
Enough for us to be both exhausted.
My enemy lay there before me, disarmed, also covered in blood.
I was fighting for love and my survival.
It was revenge.
This bastard had taken everything from me.
I cocked my head and looked at his lifeless body
- and I cried at what I had done.
I hadn't have needed to kill him
I had needed to Love him
with my sword in my hand,
covered in blood,
panting.
I don't know how long we had been fighting.
Enough for us to be both exhausted.
My enemy lay there before me, disarmed, also covered in blood.
I was fighting for love and my survival.
It was revenge.
This bastard had taken everything from me.
I cocked my head and looked at his lifeless body
- and I cried at what I had done.
I hadn't have needed to kill him
I had needed to Love him
Sunday, June 28, 2015
A letter to Shame
Dear Shame
Alas,
the gloves are off ...
... oh there you are you sneaky piece of shame. Thank God I know how you work now. My word, you are a tricky fucker. How smart you are, an absolute fucking genius. Outstanding really. No wonder you are one of the most powerful destroying forces ever known to mankind.
I'm amazed at how you work ... but I have to say, you are pretty cruel. You somehow figured out that the 'Truth shall set us free', and then, you went and planted yourself in the centre of our hearts, the place from where we truly speak, and poisoned us. From there, you smeared yourself on every unloving act that has ever happened in our life, actions that have either been done 'to us', or 'by us'. In fact, you also often taint the 'Loving' gestures of human souls too, you are that devious and conniving. And then like an octopus, you wrap your tentacles around our hearts - and squeeze, clouding our blood stream with black ink - contaminating our once pure selves until we are riddled with you.
So that now puts us in one big fucking dilemma - that puts us in one big fucking stranglehold. Its a catch 22 - a weapon of mass destruction, because you know that a human being would, on most part, 'rather die than speak of their shame. You use our fear of not being accepted or rejected by the world as a ransom - and not only that, you laugh at us in that place, mock us, make us believe it's our fault - knowing full well what you are doing, knowing full well you are to blame, knowing full well we will shrivel into hole of disgust . Oh dear shame, you must have been treated so badly in your life to relish at human suffering.
Skeletons in the closet, your hiding place. You have somehow wired yourself into our beliefs that if we open the door and let the skeletons out, then we are well and truly fucked on all levels. Not just fucked ... but proper fucked ... you make us tremble with terror. Its tragic. Our frozen state of silence prevents us from ever showing the world who we truly are. The crazy thing about it all though, is, that pretty much every single other human being is smeared with the same feeling, but because of you 'shame' - nobody says a fucking word - and so we believe that everybody else must be 'hunky dory', 'hey Ok' 'got their shit together', 'accomplished' ...'somehow not as fucked up as we are' - But its a lie, one way or another, they are just as fucked up as we are, because 'shame' -you are rife !!
But I got out of your grip the other day. I told someone about you. I told them what I felt ashamed about. Granted, my words choked on the way out, no fucking wonder, your hands were so tightly wrapped around my throat begging me to not expose you. But, too late - I did. I let you out of the bag, and my God, what a relief - Ironically, the person I spoke to about my shame, sympathised, and loved me even more - the exact opposite of what I thought would happen, it seems humans are not so desensitised, and there was nothing to fear after all. One brave human opening their heart seems to soften the hardened stone of the other, Love then flows, and it is allowed to be felt, sometimes for the first time in their life. I know Shame, you hope with all your might that we never believe we can be loved for simply being who we truly are - warts and all, triumphs and traumas, the good, the bad and the ugly ... and this my friend, is your biggest bribe- 'Keep quiet, or shall tell everyone your dirty secrets'. And we fall for it every time ... until that is ... we speak the Truth, and then, only then, can your spell be broken, and we are undoubtedly,
Washed
and
Set Free ...
I'm sorry to have to break it too you, but the word is getting out now of your ways, more and more people are starting to talk and understand how to escape from your cleverly constructed, manipulative, suffocating hold - and it feels promising. There is hope in my heart that one day, we will all be brave enough to speak courageously of you. I have hope that as a human race we will stop suppressing you with sex, drugs, food and alcohol, and instead, we will prefer to swallow the bitter sweet pill of Truth, for in doing so, you will be released from our hearts forever with tears. This release of grief will create a void, and in the space where you once wedged your malicious self, and new friend of ours can joyously make a home, and yes, that's no other than your enemy, our saviour ... LOVE.
I hope to never see you again, but I am sure I will at some point,
so until then ...
Yours sincerely
Perry
Alas,
the gloves are off ...
... oh there you are you sneaky piece of shame. Thank God I know how you work now. My word, you are a tricky fucker. How smart you are, an absolute fucking genius. Outstanding really. No wonder you are one of the most powerful destroying forces ever known to mankind.
I'm amazed at how you work ... but I have to say, you are pretty cruel. You somehow figured out that the 'Truth shall set us free', and then, you went and planted yourself in the centre of our hearts, the place from where we truly speak, and poisoned us. From there, you smeared yourself on every unloving act that has ever happened in our life, actions that have either been done 'to us', or 'by us'. In fact, you also often taint the 'Loving' gestures of human souls too, you are that devious and conniving. And then like an octopus, you wrap your tentacles around our hearts - and squeeze, clouding our blood stream with black ink - contaminating our once pure selves until we are riddled with you.
So that now puts us in one big fucking dilemma - that puts us in one big fucking stranglehold. Its a catch 22 - a weapon of mass destruction, because you know that a human being would, on most part, 'rather die than speak of their shame. You use our fear of not being accepted or rejected by the world as a ransom - and not only that, you laugh at us in that place, mock us, make us believe it's our fault - knowing full well what you are doing, knowing full well you are to blame, knowing full well we will shrivel into hole of disgust . Oh dear shame, you must have been treated so badly in your life to relish at human suffering.
Skeletons in the closet, your hiding place. You have somehow wired yourself into our beliefs that if we open the door and let the skeletons out, then we are well and truly fucked on all levels. Not just fucked ... but proper fucked ... you make us tremble with terror. Its tragic. Our frozen state of silence prevents us from ever showing the world who we truly are. The crazy thing about it all though, is, that pretty much every single other human being is smeared with the same feeling, but because of you 'shame' - nobody says a fucking word - and so we believe that everybody else must be 'hunky dory', 'hey Ok' 'got their shit together', 'accomplished' ...'somehow not as fucked up as we are' - But its a lie, one way or another, they are just as fucked up as we are, because 'shame' -you are rife !!
But I got out of your grip the other day. I told someone about you. I told them what I felt ashamed about. Granted, my words choked on the way out, no fucking wonder, your hands were so tightly wrapped around my throat begging me to not expose you. But, too late - I did. I let you out of the bag, and my God, what a relief - Ironically, the person I spoke to about my shame, sympathised, and loved me even more - the exact opposite of what I thought would happen, it seems humans are not so desensitised, and there was nothing to fear after all. One brave human opening their heart seems to soften the hardened stone of the other, Love then flows, and it is allowed to be felt, sometimes for the first time in their life. I know Shame, you hope with all your might that we never believe we can be loved for simply being who we truly are - warts and all, triumphs and traumas, the good, the bad and the ugly ... and this my friend, is your biggest bribe- 'Keep quiet, or shall tell everyone your dirty secrets'. And we fall for it every time ... until that is ... we speak the Truth, and then, only then, can your spell be broken, and we are undoubtedly,
Washed
and
Set Free ...
I'm sorry to have to break it too you, but the word is getting out now of your ways, more and more people are starting to talk and understand how to escape from your cleverly constructed, manipulative, suffocating hold - and it feels promising. There is hope in my heart that one day, we will all be brave enough to speak courageously of you. I have hope that as a human race we will stop suppressing you with sex, drugs, food and alcohol, and instead, we will prefer to swallow the bitter sweet pill of Truth, for in doing so, you will be released from our hearts forever with tears. This release of grief will create a void, and in the space where you once wedged your malicious self, and new friend of ours can joyously make a home, and yes, that's no other than your enemy, our saviour ... LOVE.
I hope to never see you again, but I am sure I will at some point,
so until then ...
Yours sincerely
Perry
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