A letter to Shame

Dear Shame

Alas,

 the gloves are off ...
... oh there you are you sneaky piece of shame. Thank God I know how you work now. My word, you are a tricky fucker. How smart you are, an absolute fucking genius. Outstanding really. No wonder you are one of the most powerful destroying forces ever known to mankind.

I'm amazed at how you work ... but I have to say, you are pretty cruel. You somehow figured out that the 'Truth shall set us free', and then, you went and planted yourself in the centre of our hearts, the place from where we truly speak, and poisoned us. From there, you smeared yourself on every unloving act that has ever happened in our life, actions that have either been done 'to us', or 'by us'. In fact, you also often taint the 'Loving' gestures of human souls too, you are that devious and conniving. And then like an octopus, you wrap your tentacles around our hearts - and squeeze, clouding our blood stream with black ink - contaminating our once pure selves until we are riddled with you.

So that now puts us in one big fucking dilemma - that puts us in one big fucking stranglehold. Its a catch 22 - a weapon of mass destruction, because you know that a human being would, on most part,  'rather die than speak of their shame. You use our fear of not being accepted or rejected by the world as a ransom - and not only that, you laugh at us in that place, mock us, make us believe it's our fault - knowing full well what you are doing, knowing full well you are to blame, knowing full well we will shrivel into hole of disgust . Oh dear shame, you must have been treated so badly in your life to relish at human suffering.

Skeletons in the closet, your hiding place. You have somehow wired yourself into our beliefs that if we open the door and let the skeletons out, then we are well and truly fucked on all levels. Not just fucked ... but proper fucked ... you make us tremble with terror. Its tragic. Our frozen state of silence prevents us from ever showing the world who we truly are. The crazy thing about it all though, is, that pretty much every single other human being is smeared with the same feeling, but because of you 'shame' - nobody says a fucking word - and so we believe that everybody else must be 'hunky dory', 'hey Ok'  'got their shit together', 'accomplished' ...'somehow not as fucked up as we are' - But its a lie, one way or another, they are just as fucked up as we are, because 'shame' -you are rife !!

But I got out of your grip the other day. I told someone about you. I told them what I felt ashamed about. Granted, my words choked on the way out, no fucking wonder, your hands were so tightly wrapped around my throat begging me to not expose you. But, too late - I did. I let you out of the bag, and my God, what a relief - Ironically, the person I spoke to about my shame, sympathised, and loved me even more - the exact opposite of what I thought would happen, it seems humans are not so desensitised, and there was nothing to fear after all. One brave human opening their heart seems to soften the hardened stone of the other, Love then flows, and it is allowed to be felt, sometimes for the first time in their life. I know Shame, you hope with all your might that we never believe we can be loved for simply being who we truly are - warts and all, triumphs and traumas, the good, the bad and the ugly ... and this my friend, is your biggest bribe- 'Keep quiet, or shall tell everyone your dirty secrets'. And we fall for it every time ... until that is ... we speak the Truth, and then, only then, can your spell be broken, and we are undoubtedly,
Washed
and
Set Free ...

I'm sorry to have to break it too you, but the word is getting out now of your ways, more and more people are starting to talk and understand how to escape from your cleverly constructed, manipulative, suffocating hold - and it feels promising. There is hope in my heart that one day, we will all be brave enough to speak courageously of you. I have hope that as a human race we will stop suppressing you with sex, drugs, food and alcohol, and instead, we will prefer to swallow the bitter sweet pill of Truth, for in doing so, you will be released from our hearts forever with tears. This release of grief will create a void, and in the space where you once wedged your malicious self, and new friend of ours can joyously make a home, and yes, that's no other than your enemy, our saviour ... LOVE.

I hope to never see you again, but I am sure I will at some point,
so until then ...

Yours sincerely

Perry

The Achievable

Its unachievable they say,
so we rejoice in sin and bathe in shame,
turn a blind eye,
and it's God we blame.

Its unachievable they say,
tis saved for the messiah, thus mediocre is crowned,
perfection is slayed,
and its God we blame.

Its unachievable they say,
why bother, why try,
luxury fruit is to taste when I die.
and it's God we blame.

Nay God says, go forth with wide eyes,
the anointment is yours and the fruit is ripe,
receive my Love now,
and share my delight.

I tell you,
it is achievable

The Joy Of Giving

True Story -

I walked home one night and I said out loud "please God, help me to be a giver. Help me to not be so selfish" ...

I wondered how God would respond, and how soon ...

I walked a further 20 paces and the outside tube station sat a beggar. Knees curled into his chest, head down, one arm stretched out holding a half torn McDonald coffee cup. His other hand held a sign, saying 'please help with a little change'

Surprised at how quick God responded to my prayer, my voice inside said 'OH come on God, that is too cliche, I'm not giving this beggar money, he will only spend it on booze, come on, you can teach me better than that'

Another voice took over and said to me ' Just do it, and don't just give your coins, if you have a note in your wallet, give him that'

'A note' I questioned ...

'Yes .... a note' the voice confirmed

I opened my wallet, I had some coins, but there was also a five pound note, the only note I had. "A fiver, I grumbled, Im gonna give a fiver just like that "... Then I had a reality check, I said to myself ... 'a fiver is no big deal, of course I can afford to give him a fiver, come on, get a grip'. And so I walked on by and popped the blue note in his cup.

The beggar was so surprised, he was so grateful that I dropped a note instead of coins ... "Thank you so much" he repeatedly shouted to me as I walked down the stairs to my train. 'No worries brother, no worries, its the least I can do' I whispered to myself.

The next day ... I stopped by a posh hotel for a cup of tea, I hadn't been there for a while as its quite pricey. I ordered my usual pot of green tea and chilled for a while. Finally, I finished up, and asked for the bill. The waitress came over and smiled 'Oh hi there, I've not seen you for a while, don't worry, the tea is on the house, nice to see you back ', - You've guessed it. A pot of tea in that hotel normally cost five pounds. I smiled and thanked God for the lesson.

... the joy of giving. When you receive, you only receive the 'thing' ... but when you give, not only do you bless the other with the 'thing', but you also bless yourself by receiving the 'joy'... And is it not true we would all love to receive joy in our lives ...  To receive joy start by giving ; )