Permission slip

Permission ... permission ... permission ... what do you think about when you think about permission ? Am I 'aloud' sprung to my mind when I asked myself that question... Am I Aloud !... But what is permission and why is it important to your self growth ? Well, the degree to how much pleasure, joy, passion, abundance and love you have in your life can be traced back to how much 'permission' you 'allow' yourself to have in receiving and giving those gifts.

As you delve more and more into the feeling of 'permission' you may realise that a lot of your 'permission slips' were wrote by your parents. The slips were placed into your pocket, a kept their for 'your' safe keeping. The permission slip in your pocket was kind of your parents version of giving you a 24/7 security guard, so that when your parents were not around, your 'permission slip' would keep you safe. 'Don't speak to strangers for they will take you away and do bad things to you' was written on my slip. ( ironically, it nearly happened twice )

For most of us, as we get older, we some how have never managed to throw away our parents permission slip. We somehow left it in our pocket. It never popped into our minds that we could ever re write our very permission slip, mainly because on our little piece of paper, our parents wrote in big black letters  '  YOU ARE NEVER EVER ALLOWED TO RE WRITE YOUR OWN PERMISSION SLIP ' and so we obeyed that of course, because we didn't have errrm ... permission to do anything else !

As you get older and to start to mix with other adults, you will start to realise that everybody else is also still carrying around with them in their pocket their very own personalised 'permission slip', which yes, was written by their parents some twenty odd or more years ago. Depending on what is written on 'your' permission slip, will usually determine where, what, and who you hang out with, or what kind of job you seek, or what lovers you fall for, or what situations you get yourself into... the list goes on. (hmmm, am I still scared of strangers I wonder ? )

I remember as a youngster I was only ever allowed to eat three biscuits with my cuppa tea (always sneaked a fourth though with a slight of hand magician move). Fair enough you might say, that's probably good for your health and I would agree. But zoom forward to when I became 20 years old, sitting in my shared apartment in Spain as an 'Adult', I was drinking my cuppa tea, and I had dunked my three biscuit allowance ( plus the 4th biscuit which I sneaked in,... you see, I still had my security guard), but I wanted more, shock shock horror... but 'oh no' ... I am only allowed to eat three biscuits, what do I do ? Of course, I quickly realised that my mum was a few countries away and so I polished off the whole packet. But my point is, I was an adult, and I almost, very almost, let the permission slip of my youth decide what I was allowed to do as an adult.

But it goes deeper than that, much deeper. That was just one small example about eating biscuits, imagine how many more permission slips I have regarding love, money, careers, relationships, sex, hobbies, passions and my desires ? I dare say I have still got many out of date permission slips still stuffed in my pocket. I'm in the process of taking them out of my pocket, reading them, and seeing if I still need them ... Awareness of your habits is the key to self growth !

Permission slips are very powerful, and they can shape your whole future. The thing is, the permission slip in its self is not is not what gives the green and red lights. It is the 'intent' in which the permission slip was written which will determine how your '24/7 security guard' will take care of you. A permission slip written out of 'fear' will have the guard lock you in your prison, blocking you from all your 'True Joy'. A permission slip written out of 'Love', will have your security guard granting you the keys, allowing you to open your cell saying " I'm free". Hence my fear based permission slip which read 'Don't speak to strangers for they will take you away and do bad things to you ' actually got me into the situation that my parents feared most, and then of course this proved their belief, and my permission slip became a fact, and more solidified ! ...

... Could that all have been avoided I wonder ? What if the permission slip was wrote with love and trust because that's what my parents believed in their hearts... " Son, explore the world with freedom, many people will help and assist you, greet new people with a smile, make friends and have the power to say 'no' to people you feel are not being nice to you " ...Would my life have been shaped differently if I'd had that kind of belief instilled in me ?  Would I have avoided at 5 years old, the luring arm of the strange man who sneakily led me away from my mum from outside the souvenir shop in Spain ? ... Who knows, but its an interesting thought. I'm not bashing parents here, for I know what a tough job parenting is. But what I am saying is ... Beware / Be aware of your patterns, for they will hold the keys to your pain and pleasure.  By the way, my Mum caught me in the nick of time, she saw me half way down the street and she shouted Oye ! , the guy took his hand from my back and quickly ran away. Lucky escape.

Ok, enough of the dark side, lets jump into the light and have some fun. Last weekend I attended a really amazing workshop called ' what about you ?' facilitated by Jamie Catto www.jamiecatto.com  ... please, please check it out and get yourself to the next workshop if you can, for there, you will have many opportunities to catch what is written on your permission slip, and you will get to meet lots of cool inspiring people. And So, here it is again www.jamiecatto.com  you don't need permission ... just go !

It was at the workshop that I was reminded about 'Permission'... Permission to be who I 'really want to be'. I had somehow forgotten over the years that I am 'allowed' to keep on exploring myself in many different ways. I had kind of got into a little rut of believing what I like and what I don't like.  In the workshop, I was guided brilliantly to once again think outside of the box. Already since last weekend, I have looked at different art, music and met friends that I would of not met before. I have new ideas, and new projects waiting to be given birth too. I met Ed, a photographer www.edwardhaynes.co.uk  who would like to collaborate with me in making a possible documentary " come to Brixton and lets start shooting " he casually suggested ... shooting a film that is, he was not a  Brixton gangster, but who knows, I do love a bit of Tarantino. It may or may not happen, but the possibilities are blossoming, and that feels exciting... and remember ... Excitement generates Energy ... the energy to do the things you love. Not having excitement in ones life I believe is one of the major causes of 'atrophy' or you can say 'wasting away' , means the same thing ... You see, I'm getting smarter with my new permission slips :)

So how do you go about of Re Writing your permission slips ?

Well, you do just that ... You 'write' your permission slip. Even though its a bit of fun to get your creative juices flowing, I would strongly recommend that you take this exercise seriously, because this is about your Life remember ...

Ok, this is what I want you to do ... IMAGINE ... IMAGINE ... IMAGINE ......... Imagine the life you really desire, and I mean 'really desire', not the life you feel you are 'allowed' to desire by other peoples standards. When I mean 'your' desire, I mean 'YOUR' desire. Give yourself  'Permission' to live how you see it. Now, the key here is to not hold back, really go for it ...

Ready ? Good ! ... Now, write out your fantasy life. I have prompted you with some useful questions, which may help with your vision and imagination. But you can add more or take away anything as you like for this is about you. When you write this, really really give yourself  permission to imagine, and become excited ... because its the excitement that will carry you through !  ...Really script it out, be brave with your imagination, and write it as if nobody would will ever read it ... Really conjure up how you see your life to be, and feel your way through it. Ok ... Go !

...What is your purpose in life ? What is your mission? Who are your friends ? What job do you do ? What projects do you create ? How and where do you live ? What food do you like ? What no longer serves you ?  What clothes do you wear ? What social events do you go to ? What sex do you like ? What music do you like ? Do you travel Bermuda ? Is your best friend David Beckham or David Cameron ? What car do you drive ? Do you sunbathe naked ? Who inspires you ? Do you have breakfast Robert De nero ? Lunch with Oprah Winfrey ? Supper with Richard Branson ? Go clubbing with Jay-Z  and Beyonce ? After party with Bugs bunny ? ... its your call ... everything is possible ... write it down !

 ... You may eventually find that you actually don't really want what you first imagined, but this exercise is about 'allowing yourself the freedom to explore', and then choose what you really desire ... 'It is giving yourself permission'. It is allowing yourself to eat a whole packet of biscuits when you were only allowed to eat three as child... You may never 'choose' to act on your visions, but at least you gave yourself permission to choose. Death be the man on auto pilot ... The permission of choice is where your freedom lies ! Oh yes a reminder ... 'Loving' permission slips will serve you much better. A judge will not let you off the hook from killing people, cheating, robbing and lying just because you wrote yourself a permission slip, so please remember the 'Law of cause and effect' !

If you feel daring, and wish to solidify your 'Dream Life', then please feel free to send me your script. There is something more risky with a sense of 'Aliveness' when you give yourself permission to be seen as you wish to be seen by another. I have found that sharing yourself with the world helps you 'participate' with the world. Instead of just being 'in it' ... you help 'create' it ... so please, post below in the comments your dream life or write to me at www.perrykhaldenby.co.uk ... and together we can inspire each other... because you know ... my new permission slip says...' I have to meet more strangers'.    :)

Your imagination is very unique and very powerful and is the first step into creating the life you desire. The next step is action and planning, I will blog about that next time, or... if you wish to work with me one-one and explore mentorship, contact me at www.perrykhaldenby@gmail.com or please check out and share my website www.perryhaldenby.co.uk

Now this clip is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen in showing us how to use our imagination with excitement and fun. You must watch it ... I am not giving you permission to skip this :)  I hope you enjoy it.