7 habits of highly effective people

Welcome,
If you are reading this post, then you were attracted to the idea of becoming a highly effective person.

I don't know about you, but for me, I am continually striving to become MORE than I already am.
 But why is that ? Why not just be happy with the way I am and be done with it ?
 Well...I love the idea of POSSIBILITIES !  I love the sense of adventure, the sense of exploring myself in a new way, variety is the spice of life, a change is as good as a holiday so they say. When I explore myself, I get to learn more about myself , I become interested in what makes me tick, I develop a passion, I become my own life long hobby, this kindles a sense of self love, and like everything that kindles, a spark is initiated, a spark of life or a spark of light you might say, and who doesn't desire to shine in all their humble glory ? Unless of course you do desire to be dim, lifeless, a shadow in the corner, dwindling away into the darkness ? we don't want that though do we, eh ! (actually, a lot of us do )
    Although, I have found that it is not always easy to be so eager in striking the match against my soul, for at times it feels just too dark and hard, and the strength to shine feels impossible. But its in those times when I can choose to dig a little deeper, learn a little more, push a little harder, reflect on myself with a little more awareness, and then eventually something strikes ! A new spark is ignited. I 'see' myself and things around me in a 'new light'. The dark place becomes bright again, and my soul shines with just that little bit more brilliance and I feel a little bit more loving. My goal of course, is to cast out all shadows. It is said that if an Angel would present themselves to us as we often picture them to be, with all halo's, trumpets and wings blazing, then they would blind us, for that's how bright they are ... So, am I suggesting that I want to become like an angel ..erm ... I guess I am.

 So, how do I get there ? how do I become like an angel ? how do I become a shinning light ? how do I become the grandest version of myself ? how do I become a awe inspiring husband, wife, brother, sister, friend, workmate ... human being ? how can I transform myself  from who I am, to who I want to be ? Well ... It all begins in my imagination.

Begin with end in mind...
There is the saying that everything is created twice. First in the imagination and then secondly in the physical. Lets take building a house from scratch for example. Before any hammer nails get involved, the designer must firstly imagine in clear detail how they want it to be, they must picture and work with their imagination to understand how many bedrooms there will be, how big the kitchen will be, will there be a living room and separate dinning room or will they be joined together, do they want sliding doors and a patio leading to the garden, what will the colour scheme be, will there be a children's area or a study room ... the list goes on, and it is all firstly worked out and created in the mind or the imagination.
 When the designer has a clear picture of what is to be built, it is then reduced to a blueprint and construction plans are developed. All this is done before any earth is moved, if not, in the second creation, the physical, they may have to be some expensive changes and that may double the cost of the home. The carpenters rule is " measure twice, cut once". The lesson here is to make the first creation as clear as possible, think everything through. Then put in the bricks and mortar. And then each day as you go to work on building your dream home, you pull out the blueprint and get to work on it until it is achieved.

So whats all this got to do with being a highly effective human being ?

Well, 'Beginning with the end in mind' is the 2nd of 7 habits taken from the book '7 habits of highly effective people' by Stephen Covey ... and it is this book that I am currently studying, and beginning to mentor myself and others with. Of course there are many books out there which one can follow, and I have myself read a lot of them. I am not saying this is the only way to transform yourself, but I must say that I am finding this process a highly useful practical tool in my life right now.

 The 7 habits themselves are based on principals and natural laws, so they apply to everyone and every situation, and not only in humans but also in nature, and that's why I really like this work, there is a synergy between my inner and outer world.

What are the other habits ?

Habit 1: Be proactive ! ~ have the initiative and take the responsibility to make things happen ... 'Response - ability' the ability to respond and not react ! highly effective people recognize that responsibility and do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is based on conscious choice, based on values. Act or be acted upon !

Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind ! ~ All things are created twice. First in the imagination, secondly in the physical. Whether we know it or not we are always creating our life in every moment. The catch is, do we desire to create the life 'we choose' through our 'own awareness', OR... will our life be created for us by 'somebody else's creation' ? ... and this is where habit 1 and habit 2 work together ... Act your imaginations or be acted upon by somebody elses ! Create your vision and live your mission.

Habit 3: Personal management ! Effective management is putting first things first. While leadership decides what "first things" are, it is management that puts them first, day to day, moment-by-moment. Management is discipline, carrying it out. Its the exercise of  'independent will' ... the discipline to make it happen.A manager decides the best way to chop down the jungle, the leader climbs to the top of the trees and shouts " we are in the wrong jungle " ...  Whats urgent ? whats important ? whats not urgent but important ?can you say 'no' to the things that are not aligned to your vision and mission ? Habit 3 is effective planning and managing your mission " wars are won in the tent " the General says. Get in the right jungle and manage well !

Habit 4: Win / Win : Seek mutual benefit. Learn how to bring balance into all relationships. Appreciate cooperation. You want your way, I want my way ... can we together 'CREATE' a third way which benefits us both ? being careful not to compromise each other as that leaves each other with second best. Win / Win means together we creatively and consciously 'choose' a way which may be even better than our original ideas. If nothing can be created or cooperated then of course a 'No Deal' can be created which is harmonious for all parties. In relationships deep emotions may have to be dealt with, but if each person can move into that space with a win / win feeling in their awareness, then the relationship has much better chance of being enhanced. It takes great commitment, trust, respect, compassion and love to reach this space.

Habit 5: Seek first to understand then be understood ! Empathic listening. When you listen to someone, are you really listening ? or are you busy making up your own stories in order to make a reply ? Seek first to understand means you put all my heart into the listening. You try to feel and put yourself in their your shoes. You try to see the world how they see it. Instead of listening with your personal autobiography, you feel how the other person feels and listen with your heart as well as your mind. Listening with empathy allows the other person to open up and say how they truly feel. Then seek to be understood. Seeking to understand takes empathy, seeking to be understood takes courage.

Habit 6: Synergize : The whole is greater then the sum of its parts. Synergy values the differences between all things and seeks to create a better way. In a class room the teacher can present a topic which is safe, and then one student may open up their hearts on the subject which creates excitement for other students to become more open. Trust and openness is expanded and the topic begins a life of its own. The students learn much more effectively because their hearts are involved. They create and bring new ideas 'together'. They listen with 'empathy ' and bonds of love and joy are created. Habits 4 and 5 are brought together and synergized. We can bring synergy into all our relationships.

Habit 7: Renewal : Sharpening your sword. habit 7 is our day of rest. Our time to reflect on the week, reflect on our achievements and weakness. Taking time feel how we feel and observe how we interact is crucial to self awareness and growth. In our self renewal time we can plan the week ahead, re visit our mission statements and see if they are still true to our values. We can plan and vision the future. We can take the time to see which relationships need more care. Taking time each week for self awareness creates balance. The time can be used to evaluate what is important to you, or forecast new goals, desires and passions. Reflect on current projects and see if they are going to plan or not. Habit 7 helps brings continuous focus and awareness, making sure you are directing your life in the way you desire.

Thank you for taking time to read this post. I would like now to invite you to take part in a fun questionnaire which will maybe useful for you to learn more about yourself. All the instructions are here waiting for you when you click this link www.lighthouseinternationalgroup.com/  . If you like what you had read so far and want to learn more, or wish to inquire about mentoring, please feel free to get in touch.  www.perrykhaldenby@gmail.com

Its been a while since I have posted a video clip to support my posts, so I am excited to share this really inspiring scene which I feel relates to the 7 habits of highly effective people. Enjoy with Love